i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
