Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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