fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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