ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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