You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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