You don't have asthma, your pregnant
420 ftw
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
