I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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