Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
