Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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