you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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