3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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