Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
