i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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