It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize