please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
