He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
