My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want her autograph on my taint
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
