5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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