Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
