do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
