how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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