So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
