I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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