my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
its not stalking. its research.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
