By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
