If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
