I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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