it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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