Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
