Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
