I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
