The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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