it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
