There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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