i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
