I want to have your abortion
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
