Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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