We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
