marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
