If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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