Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
