I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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