I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
