giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
