But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
