Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
