honey bunches of taint.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
