I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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