protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
