Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I enjoy the company of your penis
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
