actually, I'm a sock model
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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